Kintsukuroi_ Chapter-12
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Chapter-12
Summer brought with it
the painful memories of the last summer when they had been a family of three
and the first anniversary of Adam’s death. The loss of her mate was still like
a red-raw wound on her psyche, and Jayna was painfully aware that if she let it
fester it would grow to consume her- and
that was something she couldn’t allow, not as long as Ben was in the blast
radius. Hoping the old adage of time
heals all wounds was correct, Jayna endeavoured to keep herself busy through
the holiday so that she wouldn’t have the time or energy to reflect on what she
had irrevocably lost a year ago.
The first project she
embarked upon was to finally clear
out Adam’s wardrobe, boxing everything she didn’t want to keep so that she
could donate it to the nearest Goodwill. The first day she opened Adam’s side
of the cupboard, she just spent the time fingering the well-worn outfits, lost
in reminiscence and shedding silent tears. The second day, as Jayna looked
through the outfits again, she was sure that she wanted to keep them all. The
third day, Benny- ever curious about what
his mother was up to, sneaked in and Jayna spent the time telling her son
stories about his father. On the fourth day, Jayna hardened her heart and asked
Janardan to help her clear Adam’s cupboards. Unlike her expectations, it was
slow-going with the alpha carefully helping her choose and pack whatever she
wanted to keep from Adam’s things, and then- at Jayna’s urging- picked out a few things that he could wear
himself before packing the rest into cartons for shipping off to Goodwill.
Once the cupboard was
cleared, Jayna felt her throat close as she realized that she was, in essence,
closing a chapter of her life. Still, the emptiness left behind by the absence
of Adam’s stuff felt wrong and suddenly remembering that Janardan had been
living out of his duffel for the past year, offered the space to the alpha in
question. Offering a little space in the closet, made Jayna realize that she
needed to offer the man far more than a space to stash his clothes... which led
to her second summer project: eking out a room for Janardan in their house.
The alpha was vehemently
against reducing the size of either the living room or Jayna’s own room (the
only two possible options) to build a smaller room, assuring that he was happy
camping out on the living room couch indefinitely. When Jayna countered all his
arguments, the warrior reluctantly agreed to a space in Jayna’s bedroom, but
wouldn’t let her build a wall to split the room into two smaller ones. In the
end they settled for a foldable, wooden partition that stretched the length
between their beds. It reminded Jayna of her brief stint in hostel during her
college years before meeting- and moving
in with- Adam when getting a bit
of privacy had felt so important.
They swapped the
King-sized bed into twin-queens and set up the whole thing symmetrically with
the side tables on either side of the partition. Looking at the finished
concept, Jayna had to admit it looked better than her idea of building a wall
with the room still retaining the spacious feel despite the partition. Still, she
felt inexplicably nervous the first night they shared a room, but it was oddly
comforting to hear the warrior’s steady breathing as well. And Jayna was so glad to discover that the man didn’t snore...within
a handful of days, sharing her room platonically with the alpha became so
comfortable, it was as though she had done it forever.
As the summer holidays
neared their end, Janardan guiltily requested that they spend their time inside
because he needed a day off (something which Jayna was all too happy to agree
to). When he returned, he miserably asked Jayna if it would be alright for him
to leave for two hours every day for a fortnight. Given the holidays were still
on and Jayna herself was available to mind Ben, the omega had no hesitation in
sanctioning the warrior his leave. Janardan didn’t mention it, but Jayna
refrained from mentioning anything about the warrior’s short absences to her
father-in-law when she spoke to Adam’s parents over the phone. Then, on the
last day of his requested fortnight, Janardan returned home over an hour late
and looked so absolutely miserable that Jayna began to wonder if
the kind alpha had found someone and been rejected. Somehow she doubted that
since there was no scent clinging to the alpha after his precisely two hour-long
excursions apart from that of sweat. Once Ben had been put to bed, she cornered
the alpha; an inexplicable concern about the other’s welfare making her act pushier
than strictly warranted. Eventually, after a lot of hemming and hawing, the
alpha confessed that Chief Deer had mandated that Janardan open a bank-account
in his name. Although the warrior did not come out and say it, Jayna suspected
that the alpha had been with the police chief for whatever reason the entirety
of the past two weeks. When she questioned why the need to open an account had
the alpha looking so despondent, the man confessed that firstly he had no idea
how to actually do the assigned task
and second (and more importantly) had no money to pay for the account opening
fee.
Jayna never borrowed or
loaned money- one of the essential life skills
she had learnt from her father was to practice living within her means- but
on this occasion, she felt no hesitation in offering up the money. Janardan
refused initially, but after a lot of coaxing agreed to it on condition that it
would be a loan and not a gift.
When Ben’s school
re-opened after the vacations, Jayna found that there had been a hike in the
school fees. It was a nominal amount, but after the heart-breaking news of a
child’s kidnapping and consequential murder that had rocked the city last year,
the authorities had thought it best to put in additional security measures for
their wards, and hence the corresponding hike in school-fees to pay for said
measures. None of the parents protested the additional cost even though a few
questioned that despite the raise, there were no visible signs of the measures
implemented apart from a pitiful, lonely security camera at the gate. There
were meetings with the school board regarding the issue, but the authorities
refused to divulge exactly what measures had been taken, only showing the
certificate from the nearest precinct confirming the school to be ‘protected’.
Busy with the meetings
at her son’s school and her own post-holiday classes, Jayna completely forgot
about the booster dose for her heat-suppressant and it was the alpha that approached
her with a reminder to renew the suppressant shot. Taken aback by the timely
reminder for something that Jayna should
have remembered- especially from somebody whom Jayna would have never assumed to support the action, she
found herself at a loss for appropriate words of gratitude. The man’s discrete
enquiry about whether she had experienced any side-effects from shot had her
flushing because while she had not experienced an outright heat, she had been suffering from cramps and hot-flushes for awhile
now. Janardan’s brows had furrowed into a worried frown at the admission and
the man had let it drop that part of his duties back at the pack had included
helping widowed omegas with their heats. That being said, Janardan had assured, Jayna was under no pressure and could choose
to take or reject a booster shot as she saw fit. Overcome by the earnest words,
Jayna decided to give herself one more year and then take a chance and skip it.
After all, if it didn’t work out, she could always get another shot the next
year.
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A year later; Jayna found
herself nervous as she came up to the house after dropping Ben off with Candice
for the weekend, she’d never been with anyone apart from her mate and this was
her first heat in two years. She still didn’t want anyone apart from her
late alpha and hated that her physiology made it impossible for her to live out
the rest of her life without an alpha-even
if only to soothe those wretched heats. But,- she reminded herself,- Janardan was her best hope for a compromise and even if she didn’t want the alpha, she could at least rest
assured that the warrior would not take advantage of her or act inappropriately
and so- she told herself for the
umpteenth time-she would
have to be careful that she didn’t end up antagonising the man. Taking a deep breath and trying to
calm her racing heartbeat, Jayna finally let herself inside. There was the
smell of food in the air and Jayna’s stomach rumbled hungrily. She found
herself smiling as she walked to the kitchen and found the alpha stirring a
pot.
“What smells so good?” She
questioned, stepping up next to the warrior.
“Uh... it’s just chicken
soup.” Janardan answered, “I wasn’t sure if your stomach would be up to
handling more.”
She chuckled, touched by
the thoughtful gesture as she grabbed a spoon to dip into the bubbling broth
and have a taste, “This is great, Janardan. Thanks.”
The alpha beamed, “Why
don’t you go and freshen up? I’ll get the garlic bread out of the oven and
buttered the way you prefer by then and we can eat...”
Jayna nodded, heading to
her room and then freezing at the doorway as she caught sight of the folded up
partition next to the entrance and the beds pushed back together for the first
time since they’d been split apart. The sight reminded her of happier times with
Adam and it was with a little difficulty that she managed to subdue the
memories. Stepping in and glancing around the dark room, he realized that there
were neatly stacked bottles of water and two family sized jars of cracker and a
pot of jam. A stack of freshly laundered sheets was folded on a chair in one
corner and extra blankets were piled at the foot of the bed. Clearly, the alpha had been busy... Even
though the arrangements sent nervous butterflies fluttering in her belly, she
found herself smiling as she realized that she wasn’t the only one nervous
about her upcoming heat, and hurried to change into comfortable sweats and a tee.
Despite her refreshing
shower, Jayna was unable to subdue her nerves and Janardan’s brows furrowed the
moment he glanced at her. “Did I miss something?”
Jayna searched the
alpha’s face for any hint of malice or teasing, but the man seemed genuinely
puzzled... and yet, looked calm. Not wanting to assume- especially since assumptions had never led her anywhere with this alpha- she simply shook her head.
“You can tell me,” The
alpha murmured quietly even as he continued to gather everything they needed
for the meal from the kitchen. “I’ll get it for you.”
“Ummm... a hot water
bottle? It- it helps with my cramps...”
“Oh, yeah. Of
course ... I’ve got one all set. I just thought I’ll fill it up immediately
before heading there.” Janardan told her, gesturing at the bottle; which, true
to his word, sat waiting next to the stovetop.
Jayna ventured a hesitant
smile.
The alpha’s eyes
softened, “You’re nervous?”
She nodded.
“Don’t worry, ‘kay? I’ve
got you. ... I’ve helped the widows in the pack with their heats as well, you
know? Never had any complaints...”
Jayna’s smile widened at
the unexpected confession even as her stomach knotted itself with nerves.
“You just tell me what
you need, alright? I’ll handle the rest.”
“Thank you,” Jayna
murmured uncertainly. What if Janardan
was so experienced that he found Jayna inadequate?
“For now, let’s just
eat, yeah?” The alpha assured, deftly buttering the toasted garlic bread and
ladling some of the creamy chicken broth into bowls.
Jayna nodded, throat dry
as she watched the man work seemingly effortlessly around the small kitchen.
The alpha turned back to
buttering the slices and put them on Jayna’s plate before handing it to the
omega. Jayna waited till Janardan was done plating his own portions before
venturing hesitantly, “Wanna eat in front of the TV?”
Janardan shrugged but
followed her to the couch, taking up his usual spot on one side of the leather
furniture. Jayna only hesitated for a moment before forgoing her own spot and
sitting a little too close to the alpha. Janardan glanced at her once but
didn’t comment as he tucked into the food.
Jayna floundered a
little, taken aback by the lack of reaction and almost went back to the armchair
she generally favoured before reminding herself that in a few short hours the
alpha would be touching her intimately and that there was no point in being a
prude now. To distract herself from the butterflies that had taken residence in
her stomach at the thought of what was imminent, she bit into the food. The
rich flavours burst over her taste buds, diverting her focus momentarily from her
worries as Jayna barely managed to suppress her moan of delight, “Heavens, you
should cook every day!”
The alpha smiled,
obviously pleased by Jayna’s reaction to his cooking, “I’d be happy to.”
Jayna sobered as she
looked at the man, “You’d work the whole day, manage Ben and then cook?”
Janardan shrugged,
“Ben’s a good kid.”
“Yeah, no... I mean, I
know that... but he’s still a kid,
you know?”
Janardan looked at her
with that same soft smile-- pleased but unsure about what to make of her
words, shrugging as he went back to his food.
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The low hum of satisfaction
from the completion of her heat contrasted with Jayna’s mortification once her
heat drew to a close. Once her haywire hormones had settled, Jayna had no
excuse to justify her atrociously needy behaviour and was contemplating the
benefits of staying confined to her room for eternity... Sighing tiredly, he
scrubbed a hand over his face and stepped out of the room- they still had a few
hours before Benny came back from Candice’s and she hoped the awkwardness
between the alpha and her would have dissipated by the time the child returned,
leaving him none the wiser.
“Hey,” The alpha greeted
with a smile as he placed a plate of sandwiches on the table just as Jayna
arrived. “How’re you feeling?”
“Good,” Jayna responded,
then sighed, “Better. ... How about you?”
“I’m okay,” Janardan
shrugged, visibly puzzled by the enquiry.
“Janardan, I-” Jayna
started, and then trailed off uncomfortably.
“Jayna,” The warrior
murmured despairingly in one of his rare usages of the omega’s name, “It really
is okay, m’kay? You don’t need to feel shy or awkward because of-” he waved his
hand in the direction of the bedroom. “You’re an omega. Its basic biology that you are going to experience
heats... and that you’ll need an alpha to help you through them. ... I- I’m
honoured that you found me worthy to share it with you, but I’m just an
instrument. You need not be ashamed of anything that you ask for in the...
well, in the heat the moment, pun not
intended. And I promise that whatever happens within those four walls is going
to stay there. If you fear your... uh... how do I phrase this? That your
intimate preferences shall be broadcast to the world, then you may rest assured
that that is not and will never be
the case. I shall respect your confidences. ... And uh... just in case you were
wondering; no, I will not be making
advances towards you. You’re safe.”
Jayna felt his jaw drop
at the alpha’s uncharacteristically long speech, having never imagined the man
to speak so plainly and because the alpha had somehow managed to hit the proverbial
nail on the head and addressed every single one of Jayna’s issues. She shyly
offered the man a hesitant smile and felt strangely calmed when she received
one in return.
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Earlier Parts: Prologue- Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter-3- Chapter 4- Chapter 5 - Chapter 6-
Chapter 7- Chapter 8- Chapter 9 - Chapter-10 - Chapter-11
As always, comments and critique is welcome :-)
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